Human First Fundraising with Lisa Stueckemann [Episode 398]

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I recently had a conversation about exactly this with Lisa Stueckemann, who brings a refreshingly direct lens to fundraising. It sharpened something I’ve long believed: fundraising doesn’t get easier when we add more tactics. It gets easier when we remove fear and add JOY!

Fundraising experts have been talking about donor-centricity for years.

But that language has flattened something important.

Lisa said something that reframes it:

“We’re never going to get beyond the human touchpoints.”

That’s because these are the real moments when relationships are built. They are the most fundamental, necessary elements.

Everything else is gravy.

When we start optimizing messaging, segmenting lists, automating follow-ups — none of that is wrong — but if we hide behind these tools and tactics, we avoid the real work of human connection.

High-touch relationships require presence.

Scaled relationships require clarity.

But neither works without trust.

One of the most powerful reframes in this conversation was around rejection.

Fundraisers are afraid of “no.”

But most “no’s” aren’t rejection.

They’re information.

Lisa put it simply:

“Rejection brings clarity.”

If a donor says:

“Not now.”

“Not that amount.”

“Let me think about it.”

That is not a door closing.

It’s just information.

When leaders fear rejection, they hedge. They over-soften asks. They avoid specificity. They avoid contact.

Here’s where this gets uncomfortable.

There is a trust issue in the nonprofit sector right now.

Some of it is narrative.

Some of it is a misunderstanding.

Some of it is self-inflicted.

Lisa asked a question that should stop leaders in their tracks:

Why are organizations not telling donors when they miss their goal?

If you didn’t make your number, say so.

If your costs are rising, explain why.

If you need to invest in fundraising to grow revenue, articulate the return.

When you hide reality, you reinforce suspicion.

When you show your math, you build credibility.

One of the more radical ideas Lisa shared was rethinking how we talk about costs.

Instead of transactional math like:

“It costs $942 to send a kid to school.”

What if we said:

“This organization costs $X per hour to operate.”

That shifts the conversation.

It includes leadership, infrastructure, insurance, internet, staff development — the full machine.

Because here’s what most nonprofits get wrong:

They try to sell impact without selling the engine.

The engines cost money… and donors get that.

If you only sell the output and pretend the engine runs on air, you erode trust.

This connects directly to something I’ve seen repeatedly.

Entrepreneurs understand ROI immediately.

If I tell them:

$10,000 to programming = $10,000 of impact

$10,000 to fundraising = $40,000 raised

They don’t flinch.

They lean in.

Because they understand compounding.

This is not about convincing people.

It’s about speaking their language.

Human-first fundraising means understanding how your donor thinks.

If they think in return on investment, talk to them about return per dollar invested.

If they think in legacy, talk about permanence.

If they think in justice, talk about what’s wrong in the world related to your cause.

You don’t need to convince them.

You need to listen first.

Here’s the part that matters most to me.

Fundraisers are leaving.

Not just their jobs.

The sector.

Why?

Because creative, mission-driven people are being told:

“Don’t try something new.”

“Let’s just run the event again.”

“Spend less. Raise more.”

That’s not a strategy.

That’s fear.

If you hire creative fundraisers and then deny them permission to experiment, you are quietly crushing them.

And when they leave, revenue declines.

This is predictable.

If you don’t allow experimentation inside, you can’t expect innovation outside.

Fundraising is not about better scripts.

It’s about courage.

Courage to:

Ask directly

Say the real number

Admit you missed a goal

Invest in fundraising

Try something new

Build a real relationship with each and every donor. One where you see them and they see you

…. Yup, you have to get vulnerable.

The organizations that survive the next decade won’t be the most polished.

They’ll be the most honest.

They’ll treat donors like humans.

They’ll treat staff like humans.

And they’ll stop pretending that fundraising is transactional.

Because it isn’t.

It’s relational.

AND Relationships with people who care about you, are generous, and want to support you are super fun!